Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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