ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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