Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
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