His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
