Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
