i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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