Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
