fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
