can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
