Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
