GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
