I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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