I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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