Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
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Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
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ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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