About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
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she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize