I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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