the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
