You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
