We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize