i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
