idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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