I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
handjob tips. give me some.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
