Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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