I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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