I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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