Dual....:-)
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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