i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
