My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
