I cannot find my penis.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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