I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
