Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
