the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
