He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
