someone get that fucking seahorse.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
