You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize