Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
