So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
