woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
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Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
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Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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