I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
