i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
