forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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