So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
