508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
