six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize