I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
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After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize