Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
