porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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