Sry I called you an 8
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
