My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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