Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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