"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
