The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
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