I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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