Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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