wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
