everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
