are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize