dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
