you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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