Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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