Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
