walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
