let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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