I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
