I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
