Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
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I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
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i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
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