Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
